Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Historical Moment in time

No matter which side of the fence you might find yourself politically, you have to admit that today was indeed a historical moment. I am in awe of God's awesomeness and of his great imagination. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us...Ephesians 3:20. I never thought that I would see the first black president, my eyes well up with tears at the thought.

I kept my children home today and we watched the inauguration as a family. When they grow up they could tell their kids where they were and that they witnessed this very historical moment. I am in awe at the excitement and unity of this moment and of the new administration.

I thought that it would be nice to sit with Michelle Obama and talk. Talk about her role as mom and wife and balancing all. Then I thought that there is another person I would love to sit with, Michelle's mom. As a mother of three girls, it is my desire to raise strong women of God, who are intelligent and poised. Focused and determined. Michelle's mom has raised the First Lady, a woman who embodies all of the qualities I mentioned and more. How can I as a mom deposit all that I need to, to raise strong, intelligent women? So my question would be....

Dear Ms. Robinson what did you do and say to raise such a remarkable woman?

Maybe I will start a little closer to home, my own First Lady, my pastor's wife, she too is a women of God. Strong and intelligent. Poised and focused. So I think I will take the time to speak to my First Lady's mother. Who has been another mother in my own life.

Sometimes the answers we seek are not that far away. Seek other women in your life, older women, younger women they all have something to share with you, to bring you through your season of motherhood.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Security Alert: No download allowed


I was on my computer trying to download an attachment and this is the message that I got. I was a bit frustrated, still frustrated because I can't seem do anything that will change that reaction.

This made me think about our children. Their world is so filled with distractions and influences. This world of technologhy has them connected with so much more than we were connected to at their age. Cell phones, texting, internet, mp3, ipods, smart phones and a host of other technologies that our children are exposed to. Even if you avoided buying these items for your children, unless they are homeschooled they will be exposed to them at school.

I am very vigilant on the things that my children are exposed to, even if that means I have to sit through hours of agonizing Disney Channel shows. I am there at every turn to monitor what they are absorbing. Regretably I know that I will not always be their to be a filter. So what do I do? Guard their hearts and teach them to do the same. Saturate their lives with the Word so that even when they are away from me they will recall that Word.

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

God paid extra attention to one particular part of our being....our hearts. God has given us our children to "train up in the way that they should go, so when they are old they will not depart from it (training). We are here to guide them along with God's help. So what kind of security settings have we wired into their hearts and minds that will give the same message when the world around them tries to download a corrupt file. Those totally contrary to your own beliefs. While we would like to be everywhere our children are, we can't be. We have firewalls for our computers, antivirus software, shop through secure websites. How much more important are our children?

A teacher decides that your child is unteachable and will not amount to much. Unfortunately, they have through their actions let your child know this. What security setting will counteract this.

Your daughter does not feel pretty enough, skinny enough, hair is not long enough. The internet has sites that teach children how to harm themselves and not to love their lives. How to become anorexic or bulemic, dealing with their feelings through drugs, alcohol, body image distortion.

Security Settings:

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Your child has been working hard in high school and is still strugglig , they are worried about college.

Security Setting:

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This world sometimes glorify selfishness and our children are absorbing it especially as they enter their teens.

Security Settings:

Galatians 5:16-18

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence? .

Your middleschooler and teenager are surrounded by talk of sex and other lude acts.

Security Setting:

Galatians 5:19-23 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Don't worry about system overload, the world doesn't. We need to work very hard to fight against the things that could potentially download corrupted files into our children.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

We are so much more

As a mother we all sometimes feel that this represents all of who we are. We are much more. I remember going through or growing through a season; my identity was all wrapped up in being a wife and mother. It was difficult for a long time to find me in motherhood. I went from my moms house to being married and early on in marriage I became a mom. It took a long time to dig through all those roles to find me. I would always say that I went from being Olivia's daughter to Ray's wife and then Brittani and Tiare's mom. I was so lost, I did not look out for me. I thought it was just important to fulfill the other roles and I could wait. If you notice I did not mention being Kayla's mom, that's because thankfully by the time she came along I found Kathy.

It is great to have wise women surrounding you. God positioned women around me, God looked out for me when I didn't look out for myself. A wise woman reminded me that motherhood is just a part of my life not my whole life; that was the beginning of change for me. I always read Proverbs 31 , the wife of Noble character. I would read and think she has got it all together, she manages well,I need to get it together just like her. She is a mom, business women, runs her household ( she had servants, probably rich), philanthropist, seamstress, she is stylish, and her kids think that she is the coolest mom ever. I did not want to "be like Mike" I wanted to be this women. Maybe like a Jackie Kennedy or Michelle Obama. I

Then God sent another wise woman to me, and this is what she told me. "Remember that this is a caption of her life, her whole life, so you don't have to do it all at once". . I don't know if I ever told that wise woman what a life changing moment that was for me. I didn't have to do it all at once, what a concept. You would think it is obvious, however whether you have read about the Proverbs 31 women or not, don't deny it you have tried to be super mom. When we are not super mom and have it all together, we break down. We are hard on ourselves, I know I was. But what an epiphany when we discover that we don't have to be perfect. wise women.

I stopped to take inventory, who am I, what do I want for my life, what does God want for my life. I wanted to be in purpose. I continually take stock of where I am so that I would not go back to where I was. I remember one special moment in my life, that is when I took myself out. I thought I needed to enjoy my own company before someone could enjoy my company. So I asked my mother-in-Law to babysit (hubby was at work) and I took myself to dinner and a movie. Yep, I enjoyed that date, there was no one to fight me on my movie choice or ask to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie. I sat a the table of the restaurant (and it was not McDonalds) and I enjoyed my meal. That was the beginning of finding me. I am glad I had that growing season , it was necessary. I haven't finished and I continually discover something new about me.

Remember you are so much more. Find yourself, find your voice, find your purpose. Also, don't forget to share your story it will bring someone through their season.

Kathy G

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The quest for quite

I was sitting there!!!...That's mine!....SToooop it!.....You can't tell me what to do!!!Don't do that!!!.....Stooop it!!!

From the time that they rise to the time they go to sleep my three seasons, are at it. Sometimes I try and manage to ignore it and other times I totally loose my mind. I scream and that has an effect of about 5 minutes, until there at it again. I struggle sometimes with intervening, I feel if I keep stepping in they won't learn how to handle conflict. So when the come to me I say "figure it out", and even that becomes an argument. So I intervene mainly so that I can maintain some sanity. There is a rule that is rarely broken and I enforce heavily, that is no hitting, so the arguments are verbal and not physical.

Now all of my children spoke at an early age, so verbalizing their feelings has never been a problem. My last daughter, Kayla, she has surpassed the other two in terms of her verbal skills. She is the one I call my advocate, she expresses her feelings and concerns very clearly, never have to wonder what she is thinking. Sometimes I am amused and sometimes I am annoyed at the fact that my 12 year old(Brittani) actually has arguments with my three year old. You always find me saying "Brittani, you do know that she is a three year old. Maybe the problem is that my three year old (Kayla) thinks that she is 12. Kayla and Tiare (my eight year old) are great playmates, until Tiare is tired of Kayla and decides to be mean to her or ignore her all together.

I have tried locking myself in the bathroom, and it works for a few minutes. Knock, Knock...Mommy, I know you need some quiet time but I just want to tell you one thing. If I answer I get a story, if I don't answer they keep knocking.

I am growing tired of yelling so I found a bell, small very unassuming bell. I called them into the living room and explained, "when you hear the sound of this bell, it means that I am so angry I could hardly speak, it means that you better work it out everyone will be punished. It works but sometimes I am so mad, I forget about my bell.

It is funny but when I was young I thought if someone tried to kidnap me I would not be able to scream for help. After three children I realized that it was not an inability to scream it was just that I had nothing to scream about.

Okay guys let's watch a show on TV. I am not sure why I thought that that would get us some quiet time. I often watch TV with my children, mainly Disney Channel and I am often amused that they are telling me about the particular episode of Hannah Montana or That's So Raven, that we happen to be watching. So much for quiet.

The other day I thought about my quest for quiet, I thought how much I am going to miss them when they leave and how quite it will be. I thought what if they were ill and did not have enough energy to speak, I would miss their voice their laughter and yes even their arguing. So my quest for quiet is possibly superficial because deep inside I am glad to have them around, to hear their little voices.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


I entered the world of blogging when I started my wedding business blog. I considered starting a new blog about another portion of my life.....Mothering. I have been married for 13 years and have three wonderful daughters, all very different.

I thought about a name for my blog and one theme kept coming back to my mind, it is a theme I have adopted for about two years.....Seasons.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven....Ecclesiastes 3:1

We all go through various seasons of our lives. While in them we may experience joy, pain, grief and a host of other emotions, but at the end of it all it was just a season. In retrospect we realize that we have made it through and no matter how horrible it did not destroy our lives.

Mothering has seasons, infant season, toddler, school - age, pre-teen, teen, adult. Knowing which season your in and how to mother in those seasons will make the difference between a full head of hair and a head with patches...you know when you yanked it out in moments of frustration.

With three girls 3, 8 and 12 I am going through various seasons at the same time, in the same space. Watching each season flourish is great, watching them collide is quite an atmospheric event..

I am glad that I have friends who may be one or two seasons ahead of me, they are here to remind me that I wll make it through. They will be my resources as I share with you how I navigate through my mothering season. Hopefully, it will help you navigate as well.

I am glad I have my friends who are going through the same season I am in, they remind me I am not alone. It is my hope that by sharing you experience one less lonely moment in your mothering season.

Let us all reach out to help other moms through the various seasons.