Sunday, January 11, 2009
The quest for quite
I was sitting there!!!...That's mine!....SToooop it!.....You can't tell me what to do!!!Don't do that!!!.....Stooop it!!!
From the time that they rise to the time they go to sleep my three seasons, are at it. Sometimes I try and manage to ignore it and other times I totally loose my mind. I scream and that has an effect of about 5 minutes, until there at it again. I struggle sometimes with intervening, I feel if I keep stepping in they won't learn how to handle conflict. So when the come to me I say "figure it out", and even that becomes an argument. So I intervene mainly so that I can maintain some sanity. There is a rule that is rarely broken and I enforce heavily, that is no hitting, so the arguments are verbal and not physical.
Now all of my children spoke at an early age, so verbalizing their feelings has never been a problem. My last daughter, Kayla, she has surpassed the other two in terms of her verbal skills. She is the one I call my advocate, she expresses her feelings and concerns very clearly, never have to wonder what she is thinking. Sometimes I am amused and sometimes I am annoyed at the fact that my 12 year old(Brittani) actually has arguments with my three year old. You always find me saying "Brittani, you do know that she is a three year old. Maybe the problem is that my three year old (Kayla) thinks that she is 12. Kayla and Tiare (my eight year old) are great playmates, until Tiare is tired of Kayla and decides to be mean to her or ignore her all together.
I have tried locking myself in the bathroom, and it works for a few minutes. Knock, Knock...Mommy, I know you need some quiet time but I just want to tell you one thing. If I answer I get a story, if I don't answer they keep knocking.
I am growing tired of yelling so I found a bell, small very unassuming bell. I called them into the living room and explained, "when you hear the sound of this bell, it means that I am so angry I could hardly speak, it means that you better work it out everyone will be punished. It works but sometimes I am so mad, I forget about my bell.
It is funny but when I was young I thought if someone tried to kidnap me I would not be able to scream for help. After three children I realized that it was not an inability to scream it was just that I had nothing to scream about.
Okay guys let's watch a show on TV. I am not sure why I thought that that would get us some quiet time. I often watch TV with my children, mainly Disney Channel and I am often amused that they are telling me about the particular episode of Hannah Montana or That's So Raven, that we happen to be watching. So much for quiet.
The other day I thought about my quest for quiet, I thought how much I am going to miss them when they leave and how quite it will be. I thought what if they were ill and did not have enough energy to speak, I would miss their voice their laughter and yes even their arguing. So my quest for quiet is possibly superficial because deep inside I am glad to have them around, to hear their little voices.